my crossroads

“You can never hurt me again.”

betterthanusual — Wed, 22 May 2013 19:59:58 -0400

“You can never hurt me again.”

I hope there’s going to be a day when I wake up and...

betterthanusual — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 02:41:21 -0500

I hope there’s going to be a day when I wake up and finally understand compassion. What it means to sympathize or empathize or understand how people are feeling when they’re crying or sad or struggling. I try so hard to feel the way I’m supposed to, feel sorry or upset but I can’t. I just can’t feel it. Maybe it’s hard for me to express compassion because I don’t actually feel it, even though I really want to. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t know how to say those kind hearted words to make you feel better and I don’t know what to do when you cry. I like to pretend that everything is normal because I don’t know how to feel otherwise. I’m sorry I don’t understand, even if I really want to.

Rainy days are the best days because you find the stupidest...

betterthanusual — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 18:21:00 -0400

Rainy days are the best days because you find the stupidest things to do inside with your friends, or just end up sprawled on the floor talking about life.

Sometimes when I was working as a waitress, a kind stranger...

betterthanusual — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 20:18:24 -0400

Sometimes when I was working as a waitress, a kind stranger would ask me to buy a drink or appetizer for a lady eating or waiting by herself on him. I secretly wished someone would do that for me.

Photo

betterthanusual — Sat, 04 Aug 2012 23:39:49 -0400

Just bought this outfit… l am obsessed with this jacket!

betterthanusual — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 17:23:37 -0400

Just bought this outfit… l
am obsessed with this jacket!

Photo

betterthanusual — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 22:54:21 -0400

I love having my nails done… but I’m terrible at...

betterthanusual — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 20:25:46 -0400

I love having my nails done… but I’m terrible at putting it on! And I always use the cheap stuff, so my nails get gross. I guess I’m just too cheap to buy the nice base and protectant and all that. I’m really feelin’ a French right now!

Okay, so I like Star Wars…

betterthanusual — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 12:19:57 -0400

Okay, so I like Star Wars…

What is your favorite memoir you have read?

Sun, 08 Jul 2012 10:47:59 -0400

I don’t really read memoirs, lol!

Fashion Approval/Disapproval Approval Bare Backs - Will always...

betterthanusual — Sun, 08 Jul 2012 00:55:01 -0400

Fashion Approval/Disapproval

Approval

Bare Backs - Will always be infinitely sexy
Lace - Grew on me, but not easy to pull off if you don’t know what you’re doing
Front Zippers - Suggestive but oh-so-sexy
Chiffon - Hot, classy, and great with bandeaus or tight short skirts
Crop T’s - Style of the season
Oversized button-downs - Girls, the boyfriend button-down is the sexiest thing alive in your closet
The Leather Jacket - Can we get some badassery over here?

Disapproval

Crocs - I don’t care how comfortable you claim they are; they’re a fashion disaster
Rompers - Impractical and just plain weird
Floor Length Skirts - Just not to my taste… hard to pull off
Metallic/Sparkly/Glittery Leggings - Just no
Vertical Stripes - It’s supposed to make you look thinner but I think it just looks dumb
Vera Bradley - Just keep telling yourself it’s chic, I dare you
Lace Shorts - What…?

Working as a server, I noticed that most people don’t...

betterthanusual — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 23:19:52 -0400

Working as a server, I noticed that most people don’t realize how much of an impact they have on my my mood for the remainder of the day based on how they treat me. Honestly, one really nice table that gives you a really nice tip just makes my day… even if the rest of the tables are just jerks. Maybe I just take things to heart too much. Even little things like the chefs being really nice to me or helping me out makes me like working there more, and gives a little somethin’ to my self-esteem. Everyone there is so nice (minus one old lady but hey whatever)!

Bandeaus are so in. I’ve only been working for about 3-4...

betterthanusual — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 18:50:15 -0400

Bandeaus are so in.

I’ve only been working for about 3-4 weeks now at Benihana, and I’m already making some crazy cash. It really pays to be a waitress! My first big expense was my 160GB PS3 which I’ve been dying to get for ages now. I know I’m late on the game, but I only buy used games anyway, so whatever, right? I can’t wait to finish Xenoblade Chronicles on the Wii, which is, by the way, the best JRPG I have ever played, so I can start some classics on my PS3. I’m thinking some ACII or Valkyria Chronicles?

Love you!

betterthanusual — Sun, 20 May 2012 00:20:11 -0400

Love you!

I just recently started my training to be a server at Benihana....

betterthanusual — Thu, 17 May 2012 14:33:13 -0400

I just recently started my training to be a server at Benihana. I’m working at the sushi bar side, which I guess I’m pretty thankful for because the hibachi grill side looks chaotic and I feel like I would panic. The uniform is cute enough, and it’s got my favorite color combination - red and black. Did you know that Benihana means “red flower” like, hong hua? Japanese characters look really similar to Chinese characters…

If anyone is looking for work shoes, don’t even bother trying to find a nonslip pair at DSW or Famous Footwear or something. I’ve tried about three different pairs of black sneakers and they’ve all been terrible - even the ones that are marked “slip resistant.” My co-worker recommended me to order work shoes online, so I just Amazon’d a pair of Skechers work shoes. I’m crossing my fingers that they fit/work!

So far my summer is looking like summer classes and work. I’m scheduled for over 30 hours in the next week.. which is full-time at Benihana. (When I applied, I asked for part-time?) Then I have classes Mon-Thurs morning… I had all this stuff planned to do during the summer but it looks like I won’t have time for much else. I’ve always wondered how people stay motivated, well, happy mostly, in this kind of monotony. I think everyone just has a set goal in mind, and they know that they’re working toward it. As much as I’d like to think I have that kind of hard determination, I’m not so sure that’s me. I know I get things done, but how do you stay happy doing it?

I would like to think I changed but I guess I’m still pretty much the same person as I was in high school.

I’m spending the week in Chicago for a service learning...

betterthanusual — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 01:32:00 -0400

I’m spending the week in Chicago for a service learning volunteer trip sponsored by a University of Michigan organization. Today was our day off, so we spent it shopping down the Magnificent Mile and visiting the Millennium Park! Tomorrow is our first day on the volunteering job. We’re helping out at the Asian Youth Services in uptown Chicago… I really am excited to meet the kids and I’m pumped to help organize and help out as much as I can!

We also visited Water Tower Place’s Sephora, and I had some fun messing around with the free make-up testers. I really need to get an income so I can indulge myself in some clothes, make-up, and video games… Next door to Water Tower Place is the Hancock Building where the famous Cheesecake Factory is located! For a hefty price of around $7 a slice, the cheesecake there is the most amazing cheesecake you will ever eat in your LIFE, guaranteed.

Hey, Chicago

betterthanusual — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 21:41:19 -0400

Hey, Chicago

Photo

betterthanusual — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 13:35:22 -0400

Everyone is always telling you to “do what makes you...

betterthanusual — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:42:25 -0400

Everyone is always telling you to “do what makes you happy,” or “take the classes you want to take and you enjoy.” That’s such a load of crap! If it were that easy then I would have taken at least ONE cell/molecular biology course by now in my first three semesters in college.

I think Dr. House may be like, the epitome of what I want to be....

betterthanusual — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 20:34:48 -0400

I think Dr. House may be like, the epitome of what I want to be. Well, in an exaggerated fashion.

Sure, I love biology and medicine and all, but I am not a people person. Me and social relationships just don’t go well together. In fact, I think I have the same mindset as House in the fact that everyone lies. I am completely skeptical of everything people say, especially if it’s on the Internet - to a crazy extent. Honestly, I don’t want to deal with patients face to face. It would just simplify things to work behind the scenes and eliminate subjective factors by treating the patient as… well… just a patient.

And he’s happy with that. Well, not necessarily happy per say, but satisfied with living that way. My psychology professor described it as being a “happy hermit.” Of course, I wish I could be content with that, but humans have social needs and “happy hermits” are kind of unrealistic (save a few exceptions).

He’s also a genius. I would love to have that kind of mental genius, but unfortunately, I wasn’t born with an IQ of 200. A girl can dream, though, right?

But damn, is he a sexy doctor.